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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

On Trust

Assalamualaikum

It's almost 1am. I was studying Electrical Engineering when I realized the water bottle on my table was empty. I was very thirsty so I decided to go and fill some water in the water cooler. As I was passing a few rooms, I heard girls talking and giggling. I wondered if they were having girls talk.

Girls Talk. Sounds fun. The last time I had it was like 1000 years ago. OK maybe not. I was exaggerating. The reason why I don't have one recently is because everybody is very busy with studies and all. And another reason is because people I meet everyday is not the person I can tell story to; exception to you-know-who-you-are.

Do I like to do girls talk that much? Well, to be honest, not really and as far as I could remember, I've never shared anything too personal with anyone. But that doesn't mean I don't have any friends. I do have lots of friends and all of them have been GREAT FRIENDS. But, to me, closest friends are friends who soothe you with good words when you are in need. However, best friend is the person you can share everything in your heart, who can read your mind, who picks you up and heals you when you are breaking; vice versa.

I can say my super duper closest friend is a boy I've known for 4 years or so. But, even he thinks that he hasn't been a best friend to me. :D Why? Don't I share my problems with him? Yes, I do. Doesn't that qualifies him to be a best friend? Well, he has been a very good listener and always been there for me during my ups and downs. I swear he is. But, sometimes I think that he just couldn't read my mind (that answers why we always fight even for the slightest thing, innit?). But I don't blame him. After all, "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" right?

"Then find a girlfriend!" That's a very good advice. It's not that I don't want any BFFs. I just can't really share what's inside my heart and I never feel that I can be a true me in front of anybody else. Most of all, I can hardly trust anybody. I saw it happening many times to people in my surrounding. When they talk about themselves to other person, the words come back to them, but heartbreakingly harsh. That's why I rather seal my lips than spilling out everything.

Only Allah knows my heart. That's way better than seeing the trust being broke.

p/s: Why all of sudden I feel like I'm a freak? Is it just me or am I really a freak? NooOooooOooo :P

6 comments:

EmEd said...

aku pon slalu rase camtuh..kite anggap sorang2 tuh kawan baek tp adakah dia pk kite nih kawn baek dia..layan jer perasaan sendirian..enjoyy..kah kah

Intan and The Boys said...

hehehe..~
meh kite jadik bff ratna nak?
;)

Mak Su said...

sesekali seronok gaks berkumpul ngan girlfriend je, bolehlah berborak2 girls talk, tapi kalau dah kawin ni, susah sikitlah

Anonymous said...

yuhuuu nurul... ;)

Ako Retna said...

alamakk... aiyakk.. konpius jap... nurul ker nih?? rasa nya silap umah kan.. laaaaa iskk sowi ratna.. ;)

Masy said...

jom borak hehehe

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